If men truly ran the world...
(There are guys in my office that really want this list to be true. Eeeech!)
- Birth control drugs would be just another beer additive.
- Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th and would only occur
during leap years. St. Patrick's Day, however, would still be on the 17th, but of every month.
- On Groundhog Day, if you saw your own shadow, you'd get the day off
to go drinking. Mother's Day too. And two days if it was your mother-in-law's shadow you saw.
- Garbage would take itself out.
- Regis, Kathie Lee and Martha Stewart would all be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.
- The only shows opposite "Monday Night Football" on the other three networks would all be called "Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle".
- Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".
- Tanks would be far easier to rent.
- Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
- Every man would get four, real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.
- Telephones would cut off after 30 econds of conversation.
- It would perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned
it the following day with a full tank of gas.
- Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife?to?be with a giant foam hand that said: "You're #1!"
- When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd
appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you".
- The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
- "Sorry I'm late, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness at work.
- At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car just like Fred Flintstone.
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Late Breaking Stuff
Grinder Christmas Goodies
It appears that each of our suppliers have a different Christmas goodie pack that comes with there grinders. Since we get Grinders from several suppliers there is no way to know what Christmas pack you are getting. However be assured that the Goodie pack included is in addition to all the regular goodies that are normally there.
SPECIAL DECEMBER HOURS
For the month of December only the store will be open:
- Thursday Nights until 9:00 pm (Dec 6, Dec. 13, Dec. 20th)
- Sunday Afternoons 12:00 noon until 4:30 pm (Dec 2, Dec 9, Dec 16, Dec 23)
Notice to the Trade
Due to abuses; Effective immediately tax numbers are to be presented at point of sale, for anyone not wishing to pay tax. Volume or trade discounts are given at the discretion of Mr. David Tappin , the Store Owner. Other Staff at the Store are not authorized to extend the same discounts.
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