Has this happened to you?

Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, sir," the clerk replied.

"That's good," the boss said. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."

Recently heard at the home of an SGS person

Wife: "How'd your doctor's appointment go?"

Husband: "Well, there's good news and bad news. My blood pressure's high and I'm overweight. But, at the doctor's suggestion, I'm going to take up golf!"

Wife: "And the good news?"

Misa and Bob were talking in the bar. Misa said," I just got kicked off the course for breaking 60."Bob looked at him, amazed. " Breaking 60? That's amazing!"Misa smiled and said," Yeah, I never knew a golf cart could go that fast!"

If you've made it this far through our little effort at humor and information, congratulations! This is the end!

Jokes

A common email conversation this time of year

Dear Dad,$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can`t think of anything I need. $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.Love,Your $on

The Reply: Dear Son,I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.Love,Dad

A True Story?

Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. Where's the car?"

Wife: "In the swimming pool."

Gambling is bad for your health

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?"

She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it."

He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away.

Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?"

She answers, "Your horse called."