Hey, that's not funny!

The science graduate asks, "Why does it work?" The engineering graduate asks, "How does it work?" The accounting graduate asks, "How much does it cost?" The liberal arts graduate asks, "Would you like fries with that?"

A True Story repeated daily on construction sites everywhere

A young man at this construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone based on his strength. He especially made fun of one of the older workman. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. "Why don't you put your money where you mouth is?" he said. "I'll bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to the other building that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the young man replied. "Let's see what you've got." The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then nodding to the young man, he said with a smile, "All right. Get in."

Useful Work Phrases

1. 1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. 2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3. 3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. 4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. 5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6. 6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. 7. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
8. 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. 9. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
10. 10. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.